I wrote this after work yesterday lol. I started my current job about two months ago and I’m still feeling how I fit into my workplace and all that fun stuff.
There wasn’t any one event that prompted me to write this. It’s from a couple of interactions and from the general feeling of always being constantly measured and critiqued at work, not just performance-wise from management, but also from my coworkers, who are trying to figure out who I am, what I’m into, what experiences I’ve had. (Spoiler: I spent a lot of my childhood dissociating and being depressed, which *surprise* seriously hinders your development in all areas. So even if I did experience something, I may not feel connected to it at all.)
But yeah it’s just very tiring: grinding and constantly being judged for not having seen this movie or played this game or gone to this place. And, of course, my time is so limited to do things now because I’m busy at work :/ If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life though, it’s to not be so caught up by what happened in the past that I forget to live in the present. Because the present is what I can control and where I can do those things I missed out on. And there’s a lot. But, progress is progress, right?
Anyone else ever feel they don’t measure up at work? Or in any other social setting?
